


what i wouldn't do for you

by hourglassmermaid



Series: Shadowhunters Prompts [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Alec Lightwood, Post 3x10, Recovery, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 05:45:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14731088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hourglassmermaid/pseuds/hourglassmermaid
Summary: [Prompt] 35. “Do you regret it?”Alec relaxes a little, sinking into the pillows. “Have you slept?”Magnus doesn't meet his gaze. “A little.” His fidgeting escalates.Alec levels him with a stern look, furrowing his brows. “You being exhausted won't help me recover.”Magnus gives him a sad smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. “I can't do anything to help you recover.”





	what i wouldn't do for you

**Author's Note:**

> Hey gang, here's a tumblr prompt! This Tuesday kind of sucks knowing there's no new episode tonight, but at least we finally have an airdate for 3B! August 14th can't come soon enough!
> 
> Let's get through the hellatus together on [tumblr](http://hourglassmermaid.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/izzylightbane)!

Alec comes to suddenly. Sage colored walls suffocate him. He’s swaddled in a scratchy, beige quilt and hooked up to more machines than a cyborg. His fingers trace the twists and turns in the tubes piercing his wrists. He’s apparently receiving injections of a vague, clear liquid. He hears the steady beep from a heart monitor and turns his head to locate it. His face melts into a soft smile at what he finds.

Magnus stirs and reaches heavenward, stretching his elegant form. He’s sitting in a rocking chair at Alec’s bedside, haphazardly covered in another one of the scratchy blankets. 

“Welcome back,” he yawns. 

Alec rests his hand on the bed and unfurls his fist, waiting for Magnus’ reassuring touch. Magnus’ hand drifts to Alec’s without hesitation, but it feels different somehow, like that familiar hum and tingle of magic lying just beneath the surface is quiet. Alec opens his mouth to question the sensation, but then he remembers. 

Instead, he asks, “Where are we?” 

Clearly, they’re in some sort of medical ward, but it doesn’t look like the Institute’s infirmary. The familiar wood paneling is absent, and the walls are devoid of healing runes. It’s clinical, foreign. Somewhere he’s never been. 

Everything got so hazy in that alleyway. Alec’s memory is fragmented and warped. He remembers a frantic phone call to Catarina, being ushered through a portal that wasn’t Magnus’, and then nothing. 

“The hospital.”

“Like a mundane hospital?” Alec sits up and Magnus coaxes him down. Alec winces as the movement agitates his chest wound. Magnus’ other hand twitches, like he’s preparing to soothe Alec’s pain but ultimately thinks better of it. He hesitates and then opts for fiddling with his ear cuff. 

“Don’t worry. Catarina keeps this room permanently glamoured. Her coworkers think it’s a broom closet.” 

Alec relaxes a little, sinking into the pillows. “Have you slept?”

Magnus doesn't meet his gaze. “A little.” His fidgeting escalates. 

Alec levels him with a stern look, furrowing his brows. “You being exhausted won't help me recover.” 

Magnus gives him a sad smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. “I can't do _anything_ to help you recover.” 

Alec swallows a lump in his throat as a silence falls over them. _Dammit_. Alec needs to learn to stop being so blunt and start being more sensitive. But in reality, he knows there's nothing he can say to make this right. There's nothing he can say to make Magnus feel better. 

Because Magnus’ magic is gone. Magnus’ magic was like another appendage — a part of him, tied to his identity, tied to his essence. Alec doesn’t know how Magnus will adapt without it. Everything in his life revolved around magic. His career, his title, his lifestyle. He lost his family because of it. Hell, Alec and Magnus only met because they needed his magical assistance with Clary. This is new territory. Not just for Magnus, but for both of them. 

After what feels like hours, Alec finally speaks. “Do you regret it?” he asks, looking up at Magnus from under his eyelashes.

Magnus looks up. There’s hurt bleeding into his mahogany irises, but there’s also resolve and acceptance. Magnus doesn’t hesitate in answering. “Not for a second, and I’d do it again.” 

Alec nods. He expected that response. Magnus is the most selfless person he knows, always risking himself with every fiber of his being to save those around him. It’s automatic at this point, disregarding himself, but Alec wishes that for once, Magnus would put his own needs above everyone else’s. 

Alec won’t deny that he’s eternally grateful to have Jace back — his _parabatai_ means the world to him — but so does Magnus. And knowing now what Magnus has lost, there’s a part of Alec that thinks it wasn’t worth it, or at the very least, that he could’ve sacrificed instead. 

“I know what you’re thinking,” Magnus says, and Alec hums, urging him on. “And it _was_ worth it. To save you from doing something you would never forgive yourself for.” 

“Helping me sleep at night wasn’t worth losing such a fundamental part of you.” 

“You’re a part of me too, Alexander,” Magnus says. “I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t do everything in my power to fight for you.” 

Alec shifts in the bed so he’s facing Magnus. “I once told you that I’ve always dreamed of meeting someone like you, but that’s not true.” 

Magnus leans back in his chair away from the bed and mouths an, ‘oh.’ He goes back to playing with his ear cuff as he crosses his legs, turning his attention towards the hospital wall.

Alec takes a deep breath and continues on, “You’re so much more than I ever could’ve dreamed of. I love you, Magnus.” 

Magnus locks eyes with Alec. He looks so taken aback, like he never expected to hear that. Alec needs to remind him more how much he loves him.

“I love you too, angel.” 

Maybe they’ll get through this if they do it together.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! Let me know your thoughts in the comments! :)
> 
> Once again, you can find me on [tumblr](http://hourglassmermaid.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/izzylightbane)!


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